A Hypothetical Day of A Misanthropic INTJ Collegiate

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Note: This was written on a cold winter night in late 1997, and posted on my website. I have received many e-mails over the years concerning this story, both positive and negative(though none swaying my opinion in any way!!!), so in the tradition of provocation, I have decided to put the story up once again! My life is actually much different now-- I no longer live in the dorms(hallelujah!), and most of my classes are in the late afternoon or evening, so I'm not out and about until late in the day.

It might appear that it is written in the 3rd person, but it is actually the author talking to himself. What I refer to as "daydreaming" also includes other forms of thinking(conceptualizing, contemplating, rationalizing, etc.).

9:55am--

You wake up after about a 5-hour sleep, thinking for several minutes about the dream you just had. You look over to the other side of the room and you are happy to see that your roommate is gone, but the welcomed lonely feeling is ruined by some jack-ass outside who deems it necessary to "rev up" his oversized motor and rattle your windows.

10:45am--

After lying in bed for almost an hour kicking off the day's daydreaming, you finally decide to get up and go to class. It is your favorite class of the day, although the subject is irrelevant to your interests.

11:00am

You arrive in your first class, and grab a seat in the back where you can see everything. There are only six other students present, and silence fills the room. You feel very much at ease. The teacher begins to lecture, but you quickly lose interest and sink deep into thought. Time moves by like a slug travelling a mile and you learn nothing, but it is still your favorite class.

12:00pm--

With your first class finished, you head for the cafeteria dying for something to eat. You arrive and notice that the cafeteria is almost full and is very noisy, not to mention the line is too long. You decide it is better to starve than to enter such a hellish place. Outside, people are everywhere and there is constant commotion. You decide to seek refuge in the library.

12:09pm--

With almost two hours to kill, you arrive at the library. You climb to the very top floor, and notice it is almost deserted. "Yes!" you think to yourself. You find a remote table in front of a large window, and decide to try and study before your mind drags you into another world.

12:21pm--

Someone arrives and, despite fifty other tables on the floor, decides to sit at the table adjacent to yours. "Why does he do this me? Why!" you think to yourself. "MAN, IT SURE IS COLD OUT THERE!" he says exubertantly. "Yeah." you mumble in reply. But, your beautiful and powerful mind is quick to conjure up an escape plan. "What time is it?" you ask. "AHHH . . . IT IS ABOUT 12:30" he answers. "Damn! I am late!" you exclaim as you quickly pack up and leave.

12:25pm--

You find a remote cubicle on the floor below. You actually study over a proudly organized notebook. You spend a few minutes mulling over its vastly thought-out and unique structure, giving you a feeling of accomplishment. Afterwards, your mind drifts away once again. An hour-and-half later, a passer-by breaks your thought, although you act like you didn't notice her to avoid having to say something. Then you get up and head for your next class.

2:06pm--

The dreaded 2pm class. There are thirty other students in the class, and every desk is full. Luckily, you got there early enough to grab a seat in the back. The instructor is obviously late, and some degenerates front of you are running their mouths without end. One of them suddenly laughs loudly and hysterically, driving you closer and closer towards insanity. You imagine many ways to torment and mutilate them. The thought alone is satisfying. "YOU ARE SO QUIET, YOU KNOW THAT?" the girl sitting next to you suddenly says to you with a smile. You wish you could find the words to explain to her that you actually enjoy thinking more than talking, but you know she will not understand. You nod and return the smile.

2:11pm--

The instructor finally arrives, and the room becomes silent. Then, the instructor delivers some crushing words: "TODAY, WE ARE GOING TO GET INTO GROUPS AND DISCUSS OUR EMOTIONS TOWARDS OTHERS, AS WELL AS HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES-- WHAT MAKES YOU LOVE, WHAT MAKES YOU SYMPATHIZE, WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL PITY? THEN, WE WILL EACH STAND UP IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND LET EVERYONE KNOW WHAT WE DISCOVERED." You begin to tremble. Your mind fights for every possible way out, and, suddenly, you have hope. The instructor is reading the roll and not looking, so you make a quick dash for the door, making it out safely and unnoticed. A zero for the day was never worth so much.

2:20pm--

Your next class not being until 6pm, you head for the computer lab with a feeling of victory-- as you had just dodged a pyroclastic cloud from an erupting volcano. Then, some perky blond girl approaches you with a handful of flyers. You consider running, but decide that would be rude, so you decide to hear her out. "HI! MY NAME IS AMY, AND I AM WITH THE STUDENTS FOR A MORE CHRISTIAN SOCIETY! WE ARE HAVING A COOKOUT TONIGHT, AND WE WILL BE SINGING, DANCING, PLAYING GAMES, AND JUST GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER! IT WILL LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN! EVERYONE IS INVITED, SO I HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!" she says, full of excitement. "Thanks!" you say, taking a flyer, although you had quickly decided that there is no way in hell you are going. You wonder if Hell would be much worse. Your mind quickly switches to this pretty blond named Amy, and how enticing it would be to strangle her-- to hear her scream! To watch her short, meek, slender body writhe in pain! You mentally tag her for later thoughts.

2:28pm--

You arrive at the computer lab, happy to see it nearly empty. You grab a terminal in the back, and quickly log on. You just love computers. They do the manual labor of your thinking. You look with pride at your huge cache of files, all in order by which ones you edit the most. You dive onto the Internet remembering an interesting topic. You lust endlessly for pages and more pages of information on this topic.

4:49pm--

After running through five search engines worth of pages on your recent topic of interest, the information begins to repeat itself, and you give up. You log on to a chess server, feeling the need to compete. You batter a few novices before a master finally accepts your challenge. The world around you disappears exept the chessboard on the screen, but you end up making a terrible blunder. "WHAT KIND OF MOVE WAS THAT? YOU WENT WAY OUT OF TEXT." he says, "IF YOU HAD FOLLOWED THE RULES OF THE RETI OPENING, YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD A CHANCE." the master player says in a message. The eminent defeat and the master player's words enrage you. You throw your hat off, kick the chair beside you, and pound on the keyboard. You think of many ways to torment and mutilate him before you disconnect without resigning. You know this angers him, which brings a smile from you as you head to your next class.

6:00pm--

You make it just in time, angry you were almost late. Only about ten students are present, and you grab a seat in the back, hoping the teacher doesn't annoy you by making you move to the front "so you can hear better." The class is almost three hours long, and you spend the time organizing and writing in a notebook you keep on your subject of interest. About an hour into the class, you hear the professor mention something about communal housing, and what it was like. She says the words "share", "love", and "family"(referring to non-relatives) so many times it causes you a mild case of nausea. Share, share share! What a disgusting word!

8:45pm--

You arrive back in your dorm room, glad the day is done. Your roommate is at some party, so you decide stick around and read. You read a few chapters before your mind starts to drift. You become mentally stimulated, and you stand up and begin to pace back and forth. You are truly in another world-- your body is useless, your mind is all that matters now . . .

11:07pm--

Your roommate enters the room with three friends, bringing you back to reality. "WHAT'S UP, MAAAAAAAN!" he says in a most annoying manner. "Not much" you mumble in reply. "HUH?" one of them says. "Not MUCH!" you repeat. "Ummm...I have to go...see ya." you say as you head out the door. The hallway is booming with stereos at full blast. You make your way outside toward refuge. On the way out, you cannot resist pulling the fire alarm, and you walk solemnly out the door like nothing happened, trying to hold off that evil, sardonic laughter brewing inside of you. Your hallmates come running outside swearing and cursing. Oh, the satisfaction!

12:03am--

You arrive at the only computer lab still open. There is nothing to do, so you looking up random topics of interest and play online trivia. Thoughts of the many ways to torment and mutilate your hallmates are still with you. You invent a new torture.

2:00am--

You head for some remote railroad tracks, and walk along them for hours. You just love this "other side of midnight." The world is so calm and quiet. You spot the star Vega in the sky, amazed at its distance. However, your mind is now much farther away, somewhere in the next universe. Your feet finally tire, and you get back on the road.

4:45am--

As you are heading back, a girl you vaguely know pulls up alongside you in a small car. "ARE YOU STRANDED OUT HERE?" she asks. "DO YOU WANT A RIDE?" "No...I'm fine" you answer. "HUH?" she asks. "I'm FINE" you answer, slightly louder, trying not to offend. "ARE YOU SURE? IT'S A PRETTY LONG WALK BACK." she says. "Well, o.k." you finally answer giving up.

4:58am--

After arriving back, you feel very fatigued. Not from the long walk, but from the nearly ten minutes of a hideous torture known as "small talk." Your roommate is passed out drunk on his bed. You lay down, you mind finally at equilibrium, with nothing left to ponder except the day's opposite sex encounters. The sweet, calming thoughts(although violent by most standards) take you into subconsciousness....

1-800-FONE-SEX :  "Ooooooooo....I just *love* INTJs... ."
BRIAN:  "Well, baby, tonight's your lucky night.  I dare s ay that women  do
         find us irresistable.  I mean, afterall-- HEY!  WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU 
         DOING?  GO BACK TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE!  NOW!  GO!  YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
         TO BE DOWN HERE!"
1-800-FONE-SEX:  "Darling, what was that?"
BRIAN:  "Ah, just some nosy net-surfer."
1-800-FONE-SEX:  "Oooooooooo....I just *love* nosy net-surfers."
BRIAN:  "Don't be a bitch."