Re:in other news........UGO Raises $13 Million (Score:4, Funny)
by dasmegabyte (dasmegabyte@YOUR_SISTER_HATES_SPAMmindless.com) on 
Wednesday May 16, @02:42PM EST (#260)
(User #267018 Info) http://www.dasmegabyte.org
 
What is it with CEOs that they must all be rhetorical drones? 
"As a well funded company, we are looking to leverage our cash position 
to explore potential strategic partners. "

Yeah? Is that right? A company with money is trying to use it to get 
more money? Shit dog, I never would have expected it. Seriously, what 
is the point of making this statement? Is it not OBVIOUS that a company 
looking for money is interested in using that money to grow a company? 
You see, this is the kind of dumbass shit that makes the absurd dollar 
amounts of most CEOs something sickly laughable -- they use the same 
methodology as everybody else, and when they fail using that 
methodology it's the market's fault and when they succeed it's because 
that CEO is somehow better than other CEOs using the same bullshit 
methodology and rhetoric. Shit, at least athletes thank Jesus for their 
fluke victories. 

"An ideal partner would enhance our market position and leverage the 
Company's core assets," said Joe Robinson, Chairman and Founder, UGO 
Networks. 

Is that right? Well, captain dotcom, my ideal partner is a leggy blond 
with a sweet honeypot and tits til tuesday, but I don't feel the need 
to usher a press release -- because anybody could guess it. Why not 
spend less time looking for this magic rich bitch of a dotcom partner 
and spend a little time finding a successful business model? UGO is in 
charge of the futures of some of my favorite sites and net 
personalities (Kyle from HardOCP, who is my hero, Seanbaby and of 
course lovabel Miguel from fatchicksinpartyhats). And rather than try 
and innovate their way into profitability, they're praying to the 
partner fairy and relying on a dead advertiser's market. Why not do 
something useful instead of treading water with these damn bloodthirsty 
VCs?